How to Talk to Children About Death
Children are very curious about everything that life has to offer. As everyone knows, children love to ask, “why?”
According to Independent, a UK based newspaper, children ask 73 questions per day. How as parents and educators do you keep up and answer so many questions?! Some of the questions might be simple, but some can be very difficult.
Some examples of the hard questions that children have asked me are:
Where do children come from?
Why can’t I use my epi-pen when I’m not having an allergic reaction?
Why do some animals have spots?
Why do chickens lay eggs?
What happens when I die?
My grandmother died, but I see her every night. What should I say to her?
The first four questions have definite answers, but the answers can be difficult to think of on the spot. However, for the fifth and sixth question, the answers can be complicated to explain.
Children tend to believe their parents, educators, and other caregivers. Although it might be hard, it is definitely important to tell children the truth. Children deserve to know about the world that exists around them.
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When a child asks you about death, it is important to be honest with them. You can tell them that you are not sure what happens, if you are uncomfortable, but be wary of doing so because children will definitely ask the same question again.
You can answer by utilizing what your religion suggests, for example, Hinduism suggests rebirths, Sikhism believes that one is sent back into the nature, whereas Catholicism and Christianity believe in Heaven and Hell. Children will need an answer and you can answer their questions to the best of your ability.
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How I have answered the question of what happens when we die?
I ensure that I am familiar with the child’s religious following (ex: Jehovah’s Witness). When a child asked me the question, I informed him that you don’t exist anymore after you die and he understood the answer then went back to playing.
Children require answers to make sense of the world. As a parent or an educator, you should be creating a safe environment where a child is able to ask any and every question. It has been shown in numerous studies that children that ask more questions tend to have higher cognitive abilities (Chouinard, 2007).Chouinard, M. M. (2007).
Children’s questions: A mechanism for cognitive development. Monographs for the Society of Research in Child Development, 72, 113–126. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-5834.2007.00412.x
